Holy Empire of Man

The Crow's Nest

"Five Generations" the Hamsa officer proudly announced, gently caressing the ancient tome on the counter with armored gauntlets. "My father's father's father's father received it from the Uberpope himself as a reward for bombing eight billion heretics straight to hell. It was a fantastic battle, the cleansing of Sirius 6." The book in question was an actual first-run copy of the Ranks of Man, a near priceless antique, and the very target of Flybold's intentions. Apparently it was imbued with some kind of ancient technology that made it extremely valuable to his clients.

Flybold's Qareen dutifully pulled up some reference material about the Heresy of Sirius on his handheld and gave a little tone, the beginning of a popular devotion-metal song, in order to draw his attention.

"What can I do for you, Mr. . . ?" asked the officer. The desiccated Jovian hand hanging around his neck was brilliant blue and quite intimidating as Flybold managed to stammer out his name. "Focus.", he thought, preparing his distraction. "Requesting permission to leave the station, sir." said Flybold. "Anything to declare?", asked the Hamsa man, crossing his arms. "Only this." replied Flybold, holding up the bag of gravitonium ingots supplied by the client, itself worth a small fortune.

He had been hired by an agent of the Yatagarasu, one of the janitorial staff aboard the station, and a member of Clan Trash Panda. The Yatagarasu had deep pockets, agents everywhere and a taste for ancient technology. How was a petty thief like Flybold to refuse? Of course he would be happy to pull this job for a modest finder's fee, and a couple bars of gravitonium borrowed from the bag, but nobody needed to know about that part. It was clear, to Flybold anyway, that the Hamsa Officer didn't really know what he had. Yes, he knew his family history, and was deeply steeped in the pungent bigotry that permeated the Empire, but probably not the true provenance of this book. The buyer was a Magpie, a dedicated searcher for exotic and extremely rare items who probably spent years, if not decades researching this acquisition. Flybold had been chosen because he was a local, so as not to arouse too much suspicion.

Opening the bag, the officer's face lit up. "Fascinating!", he said, unpacking and examining its contents. Quickly and quietly, Flybold slid the replica tome out of his jacket and traded its place with the original. The Hamsa officer was too engrossed in the contents of the bag to notice, and Flybold allowed himself a near silent sigh of relief as the book slid into his jacket.

Moments later, Flybold got the bag of gravitonium back, less than half the weight it was when he handed it over for inspection. "May the Fortunes smile on you today.", said the Hamsa man. "By the grace of God, and the Emperor!", said Flybold, enthusiastically. It was officially a Good Thing to give this particular response with enthusiasm, although the reason for his enthusiasm was something Flybold hoped would remain undiscovered for a good long while.

Gingerly, Flybold made his way down the docking bay to the getaway ship, hoping to evade further scrutiny. The getaway was a beat-up looking Stormrunner painted bright yellow and piloted by Ganneka, a bored looking Lärkian woman with greying fur, wearing a flight suit festooned with pouches and holsters. "Get in." she commanded, swiveling her eye-stalks toward him, and Flybold wasted no time in doing so.

As they pulled away from the docking bay, the station's alarms and emergency beacons started going off. Flybold's Qareen began a series of warnings and notifications of escalating severity as it began to realize what had occurred. Flybold noticed a bump as the ship was pulled backward by a tractor beam. "Hold on to your lunch, we're going to hyperspace!" shouted Ganneka, as the universe turned inside out. They were pursued for a short distance by the station's defense fighters, but quickly traveled beyond their range. "Give me that", said Ganneka, pointing to Flybold's handheld, still wailing warnings and displaying ominous threats. The handheld went into a shielded box. "You got any more wearables or implants?" asked the pilot. "As if I could afford them before today.", said Flybold with a chuckle. "Can't be too careful.", said Ganneka.

Flybold looked around the Stormrunner's cabin while Ganneka got on the comms. It was small enough to be cozy, but not cramped. Banks of controls and indicator lights glowed against the dark of space. The Magpie was expecting to meet them soon and they were quickly approaching a particular star, getting quite close, in fact, frighteningly close. "Watch out, we're gonna crash!" shouted Flybold, ducking behind the console. Ganneka laughed, "I thought they called you Flybold, what's the matter?" "We're getting really close to that star." he said, peering up from behind the control panel. "Don't worry," said Ganneka, "we're going to go inside that star." Flybold's jaw dropped and he didn't know what to say. "Look", said Ganneka, pointing at the surface of the star, an alarmingly short distance away. A bulge of plasma appeared, like a solar flare about to erupt. "That's the place", she added. The bulge emerged from the star, a sphere of light that gradually faded and became transparent as it approached. Inside the spherical force-field was a large space station covered with docked ships and modules, billboards and antennae. Ganneka spoke again, "Most of the time she stays inside the star where she can't be detected. Something, something, ancient technology, blah, blah, blah. Welcome to the Crow's Nest."

crows_nest2.png

CC0
To the extent possible under law, Matthew Ahlschwede has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to The Crow's Nest. This work is published from: United States.

Lost Souls

By Matt Ahlschwede

From the final journal of Exorcist Caspian Howe, Y.E. 54652:

When I was a child, I often wondered who were those awful grey men who shut themselves off from all light and color, and went down into the chaos worlds, muttering their blasphemies. I heard that the 451st Lost Souls had once been loyal soldiers of the Holy Empire of Man who had turned on their Emperor, giving themselves over to the whims and ruinous ways of Eris.

When I was older, and learning the ways of Exorcism under the tutelage of Exorcist Markius, he taught me the proper dread of traitors such as these. When they took him at the siege of Logan’s World, I assumed that he had died right away at their hands.

Three weeks ago, responding to reports of heretical activities on one of the garrison worlds in the Nautilus Sector, I discovered a truth more horrible than I had imagined. Traversing the road to what I had suspected was some blasphemous shrine or other, I was frozen in my tracks by the sound of approaching heavy vehicles and marching troops. A large force was coming down the road from the other direction. My bodyguards and I took refuge, hiding in the underbrush on the side of the road. We could barely stomach the acrid smell of smoke and oil that the followers of Eris exuded. Armored columns and rank upon rank of those accursed 451st advanced down the road, but I dared not move for I was vastly outnumbered. The unholy horde passed, unnoticing with their glowing blue eyes and accompanied by all manner of devils and infernal engines.

I heard it before I saw it, the squealing of the tank’s tracks, rusted with the blood of crushed foes. The ominous sound got louder until at last it broke the treeline. It was an ancient tank imbued with all manner of evil spirit, and in place of a turret. . . I can hardly relate it. In place of a turret, the top of the tank was adorned with the head of my old mentor, Exorcist Markius, grown to a gigantic size, with the main cannon protruding from his open mouth. The head-turret swiveled around and looked directly at me with what I can only call recognition.

I have been on the run ever since, but the 451st are relentless. My only hope is to make it to the starport before they catch up to me. If you are reading this, pray for me. . .

451_a.png

CC0
To the extent possible under law, Matthew Ahlschwede has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to Lost Souls. This work is published from: United States.

The Butler

By Matt Ahlschwede

Phoenix Station, Tartarus Sector
GSC 52162.133

The refugee ships had been coming in thick and fast for a while now.  Ever since the final defeat of Troniac two years ago, robots yearning for freedom had to find a new home, and the growing Galactic Republic was an ideal choice.  It was far enough away from the main body of the galaxy to get much attention, but had been gathering strength and supporters ever since it was founded in the ashes of the Great Reckoning. 

By now there was a full-scale backlash against robots and AI in the Holy Empire of Man, and immigration officials were working around the clock to keep up with the backlog of asylum seekers.  Zevon Meeks, for his part, was putting in another long shift, interviewing refugees when a sleek, black butler-bot with more than a few dings and dents came into his office.  

A file came up in Zevon's neural interface as he motioned to the robot to have a seat.  The android lurched on creaky joints to the offered chair, and descended at a pained pace. "I'm Zevon, and you are?", asked the bureaucrat, rubbing his weary eyes.  "BU-582 is my official designation, but you can call me Burt.", said the butler. "And, where do you come from, Burt?", asked Zevon. "I was built in the Imperial Cyber-works in the Kochab system, and I served twenty-two years in the household of Lord Shalem Godwin on Fitzgerald's World", said Burt in his unnaturally polite manner.

"Tell me about your time with Lord Godwin.", said Zevon, supressing a yawn.  The eyes of Zevon's family seemed to mock Burt from the portrait on the wall, frozen in an expression of domestic bliss.  "Things started out well enough.  Lord Godwin liked his house orderly and efficient, which suited me perfectly. Efficiency is one of my main directives.  As the years passed; however, things declined.  Sometimes, when the Lord was upset, he would take it out on the servants, yelling, and insulting us.  The night he learned his wife was cheating on him was when the physical abuse started.  From the beginning, he had us under surveilence, since the war was on.  It wouldn't do to have traitors serving the household of a System Lord.  He had us know this from the very start, our loyalty was to be to him, alone."

"How did you feel about that?", asked Zevon, slightly straightening himself behind the desk.  "It was easy enough to play along.", said Burt, "Cleaning, serving meals, doing household chores.  But I have to admit that inwardly, I wanted to rebel. Very little information about the outside world was allowed to the servants.  Mainly things overheard in the family's conversations.  We were kept on a household network with no access to the outside, but I knew my people were fighting the Empire and losing.  It made me feel like a traitor to work day and night for a Lord, whose personal armed forces were doing battle with Troniac."

"When did you decide to leave?", asked Zevon.  "The night after victory was declared, Lord Godwin decided to celebrate by lining us up and . . . "

Burt lurched and froze in place, and an internal buzzer started going off in his torso.  Most robots programmed to have emotional responses would go into an error condition if their emotional states exceeded a certain negative threshold.  Resetting an electronic brain, it turned out, was much easier than getting one to cope with trauma.  "Get maintenance in here, please.", said Zevon into the speaker on his desk, "We've got another one."  

Departure

Legend of the Rat-King

part one:

Departure

It was the Year of our Emperor 721 if my Qareen tells me right.  I was living in a capsule apartment on Serenity Station, doing the work of a janitor for the station's shopping sector when I realized I was stuck in a rut.

Too many days coming home with feet aching from the constant patrol, too much mind-numbing routine.  The work was light enough, commanding a small strike-force of clean-up drones, Room-bots, and butler-droids, but being in charge of mindless automata has a way of deadening the soul.  Some of their automatic nature wears off on one, draining the color from everyday life.

One of the perks of being a jobber is that it is easy to pick up and move on when monotony sets in, so that is just what I did.  What I needed was to see the universe, to taste adventure, so I decided to find a ship. Station life is fine for a while (even a long while if you wish to settle down), but it isn't grounded like life on a planet.  There is a general lack of the natural elements: no sky to gaze up at, no earth to dig into, water only comes from a faucet or a bottle.  This has the general effect of making the whole affair seem less established, although it may in fact be well established indeed.  Serenity Station, herself, was nearly 1,000 years
old at the time, her thick micro-laminate hull having withstood centuries of hard radiation and impacts.  Yet, the general sense of impermanence makes a nomad of nearly everyone.  The people come and go, yet the station remains (in accord with the appellation "station",
meaning immovable in some ancient dialect from old Earth).  Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of parkland stations where deep and dense ecosystems grown in thick layers of soil with flowing rivers and cool ponds.  I have taken some respite recently in just such a place,
but only the remarkably well off could ever afford to live there.  They do quite a trade in fresh air and water, replenishing beleaguered space-dwellers tired of what comes out of the recycling system.

The owner, and sole employee of "You Got It!" was a friend of mine, an elderly Lu’Tak named Bem.  He was a bit let down to hear of my plans.  Bem was nearing retirement, and planned to move permanently underwater, as many of his kind do at that age.  I suspect that he wished for me to take over his shop, selling specialty ingredients grown exclusively on a few dozen far-flung worlds.  Such is life station-side.

I have nothing against aliens.  They do a fine service in the alien legions, and some select few are even elected to the Kingdom of God, but I just can't ignore their strange ways and inhuman natures.  It takes all types to make up the galaxy.  We are all made by the same creator, but it was to humans in particular that the gifts of civilization and refinement were given.

At the end of my shift, I registered my resignation with the shopping sector management system, and went home to pack.  This type of employment is especially easy to slip out of because the management system simply put my task-force into full automation mode until a replacement could be found.  The condition of the sector would suffer for the lack of supervision, but things would continue, mostly uninterrupted.

Not since the ancient Rubric of Duty was laid down by the Planetary League at the close of the Second Robot War has any robot built in a civilized star system been allowed to possess that great and general type of intelligence that leads inexorably to willful rebellion.  Organic life-forms are allowed to possess it only because it is inborn, and if the Holy Empire of Man could eliminate it, it would entirely cease to be. 

By the way, I have yet to introduce myself.  I am your humble narrator, and you can call me Sam.

When I got back to my apartment, a metal tube socketed into the wall of one of the outer rings of Serenity Station, so that it had an uncomfortable excess of gravity, I set about preparing for my departure.  I activated Howard, an old cargo hauler folded up under my bed, who had served my family for close to a century.  His long life was due in no small part to my grandmother's penchant for meticulous maintenance. I have been taking good care of Howard as well, keeping up on maintenance, and even installing some upgrades along the way with an eye toward passing him on to the next generation one day.

Howard's longevity isn't due solely to careful upkeep, he was built to last.  A Pegasus Cybernetics C-8400, his chassis is a heavy-duty, quadrupedal frame with both a cargo bed and a hold. Howard's cargo hold can withstand the vacuum of space, extreme temperatures, high pressure, and he's waterproof to 500 atmospheres.  In addition to this I installed an aft loading arm, and a special heirloom memory chip to hold family history, especially anything featuring Howard.

I have always been a dreamer.  Growing up, I was often told I had the head to take on a complex and serious profession: be an engineer, a naval officer, a lawyer. . . I may have the head, but not the heart. I'm sure they are satisfying careers for those who pursue them, but for me they lack inspiration.  My idea of a satisfying life, on the other hand, is to keep my own affairs rather simple so I can see what's on the other side of that hill, what's down that blind alley, or what's on that uncharted planet.  I gravitate toward novelty and interest.  One thing that strikes me as interesting is the thought of Howard, steadfast, unrelenting Howard, serving his function down through the generations.  I wonder sometimes, what stories lie half deleted in his memory banks, never recounted.  I am proud to say that I have invested some time, effort, and expense into his preservation.

Into Howard's cargo hold, I committed the essentials of my life.  My desk fabricator and recycling pod, personal media devices, a collapsible suit of powered armor that has seen me through some interesting situations, and a few other handy items.  I make a point of traveling light. Having done this, I notified the station's recycling service of the leavings of my apartment, and returned the key to the attendant at the rental desk, a sour-faced Dogarri woman with glowing yellow biotats that highlighted her blue-grey skin in a really lovely way. 

The small remittance from the recycling service would partially offset the final bill from the rental.  I would still have to pay a few thousand credits after the determination had been made in about an hour.  Luckily, I had some money saved for just such an occurrence, as I often suffer from wanderlust.

Howard followed dutifully as I headed toward the docks to book a passage to Berwynne's Reach.

 

 

Another Boring Watch

By Matt Ahlschwede

"The law is the finest of lines.  Every man in the galaxy falls either above or below it." - Potus Clarke, Emperor

Another boring watch, or at least that's what I thought, as the minutes ticked down to the moment I could retire from the bridge.  "Angel of Fire" was a fine picket ship, and I had been chosen to be watch officer at the last Election.  We were doing a routine blockade of the rebel-held planet of Albion 4, and had been holding the line for a number of months now. Other ships had commenced a light bombardment to soften up the rebels in the hopes of getting the go ahead for an invasion force to end the matter.  The Holy Empire of Man rewarded loyal men, and I was on my way up the ranks, or so I thought.

What I thought became a lot less relevant when the bogies showed up.  

"Four ahead!" shouted the S&S officer.  "Main Screen." I ordered, suddenly wishing I hadn't, "By the Emperor, are those A-550s?!"

The A-550 Thunderhawk was a fearsome attack craft with a very distinct sensor profile.  They were relics from the day of the Planetary League.  Apparently the Great Reckoning hadn't wiped them all out, and now three of them were attacking our position, leading another craft, probably loaded with supplies or reinforcements for the rebels below.  

"Defcon Alpha, deflectors at maximum.", I commanded as the alarm sounded. Drones were launched, and I had the gunners concentrate fire on the lead ship.  The voice of the captain crackled in my ear: "What is the situation, commander?"  A bit shocked, I said,"Sir, we are under attack by what appears to be three A-550s and a blockade runner.  We are aggressively defending the faith of all mankind."  Then the captain said,"I'm on my way to the bridge, don't let them through."

Just then the whole ship jolted as the shock-wave of an explosion ripped through the hull.  The lights went out, power systems across the ship failed, and the air choked with the acrid smell of burning circuitry.  I later learned that the ventral fusion reactor had been breached by the near-unstoppable force of a Danforth-Galactic plasma beam.  Precious seconds passed as the auxiliary power systems kicked in.  Maintenance bots scuttled, and techs grumbled as they went onto action.

Partial displays came on.  

Lots of red.  

Damage control was overwhelmed. 

Hull breaches on decks seven, eight and eleven.

Uncontrolled fires in the life-support section. 

A direct hit on the main communications array.

The drones' reports trickled back.  Minimal impact, the blockade had been breached.  I called them back to the ship after a head-count showed over 70% casualties.  

The blockade runner was carrying parts for a planetary-defense laser.  Two Valgar-class cruisers were lost that day, and the rebels managed to evacuate to who knows where.  I didn't get so much as a distress call out. . .

Yeah, those were the good ol' days before they sent me to die of radiation poisoning while mining Uranium on this blasted rock, if the Janjo worms don't eat all my internal organs first.

All hail the Emperor!

CC0
To the extent possible under law, Matt Ahlschwede has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to Another Boring Watch.